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San Mateo Resident peeved at guest drinking his last Diet Coke

Author: Seymore Butts
Dec 3, 2018
23,456 minute read

San Mateo, CA - In an unusual situation, area resident and host of popular social events became rather miffed at a guest for drinking his last Diet Coke.
"I mean what idiot doesn't think aheat that that might of been mine man" said the irked Resident. The guest was unaware of the situation, but may have feigned ignorance -- research is ongoing.  The situation appears to be contained after guests and the Resident had their attention diverted when a freshly baked warm pumpkin pie came from the oven.

Area Man gets 'year size' bottle of Soylent

Author: Hairy Butz
Dec 3, 2018
5 hour read i think

POLK GULCH, CA - An Area Man was the first to get the 2019 full year bottle of Soylent. A special custom designed 'cement style truck' was used for the delivery. "This is great man, I am really happy not to have to keep reordering on amazon every two weeks.  The world would be in a better place if we all had more soylent in our lives" said the man.
The Soylent Corporation did not reply to requests for comment on the story, but the editorial staff didnt really try either.

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